The meanest person in the world when it comes to making you feel bad about your reactions is yourself. So often when a person does something, they’ll immediately start berating themselves.
It might be internally with negative self talk or it might be spoken aloud. Everything from “I’m so stupid” to “Only I would do something that ridiculous” can be a form of scolding. So if a lot of people have a tendency to scold themselves for their reactions, then what’s the big deal?
The big deal is that when you scold yourself for what you feel, for what you think or for your reactions, you end up strengthening negative beliefs about yourself. When you do that, it can erode your satisfaction in every area of your life from work to your personal relationships.
You run the risk of getting stuck in a rut of constantly belittling your reactions to everything, even the positive stuff. You have to stop scolding yourself if you want to live your best life.
Rather than scolding yourself, making yourself feel bad, and keeping a negative mindset about yourself, be kind. You deserve kindness from every area of your life, from every person in your life, and you deserve it from yourself.
To stop the cycle of scolding yourself, become aware of why you react the way that you do. More often than not, our reactions are not off the cuff. There’s a reason for the way that we react.
Usually, it’s because we have thought patterns and behaviors that we fall back on in every situation. But the way that you react is what makes you who you are. It’s all the experiences you’ve had in life up to now.
Remember that just because you react a certain way doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re simply a human being who has feelings and you’re doing the best that you can so don’t judge yourself.
Be as kind to yourself as you would to your best friend or to someone you love deeply. Learn to analyze your reactions. When you analyze your reactions, you can learn from them.
By understanding the reason that you do what you do, you can make changes if you need to. Mindfulness can help you to analyze your reactions and you’ll learn why you react that way and you’ll learn self-acceptance, too.
When you accept yourself, it’s easier to be kinder to yourself. You can analyze your reactions by asking yourself what you were thinking or feeling when you reacted the way that you did.